What’s your Superpower?

Up next on the “Never gonna happen but it’s fun to think about” list is…
“What would be your Superpower?”

It is only fitting that Superman would ask this question but bear in mind that of all of my Super abilities are really of no great help to me in achieving satisfaction (would lingerie-penetrating X ray vision count towards my happiness?…you decide).

There are several things that I wish I could control, a lot involve a re-do or reboot of sorts but I have learned that to do certain phases of my life over I would not have certain things that I cherish, my family for example. And for all of my misdeeds they have had the positive effect of making me into the person I am today. I kinda like who I am now so I will table the redo.

This is by no means number one on my list. Of course healing the sick and feeding the poor are certainly noble pursuits that I wish I was capable of, let’s call them a given. But the thing that has become a true passion of mine is the preservation and love of wildlife.

I wish that I could cause violent, explosive diarrhea while driving on anyone who shoots big game. How small is your dick that you need to slaughter a noble and beautiful elephant, giraffe or Tiger?

I wish for anyone who abuses animals to be locked in a room with a Televangelist and a Lawyer as they debate politics for a week with no food and water. After that, I want them shot.

I want to be the “animal whisperer”. I’m the guy at the party sitting on the floor with the dog. I wish that every dog would love me. I wish that no animal feared me. I wish that I could bear hug a Bear, roll around with a Lion, scratch the whiskers of a purring Bengal Tiger, cuddle a racoon and slide down an iceberg with an Emperor Penguin. All with no fear for my personal safety. I want to tell them that they will be ok, and be able to assure such a thing.

I know it’s silly, but my love of animals domesticated and otherwise is a passion and my heart breaks daily at what they are subjected to.

What’s yours? I can’t wait for your feedback…