Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
I was inspired by a post by Sadje to answer the following questions. I found the questions and the concept interesting so I dove into it. Please pop over to her blog and show some love. It’s a great blog, you’ll like it!
7 and Three Quarters Nutty Questions
Don’t just answer these questions with quick one word answers, but give them some body! Throw yourself into it.
What will your epitaph read like?
Here lies Bill, in the hole again!
If you could explore anything Indiana Jones/Lara Croft style, where would you go first?
I’d like to journey into my ex wife’s psyche and find something that makes her happy. All conventional methods have failed to this point
What has been your biggest mistake in the kitchen?
I am an experienced cook. I was also, for a very long time a experienced drunk. One night I came home from work 3 sheets to the wind and I started a pot of rice. I fell asleep with the burner on and set the smoke alarm off. I woke my family and my wife tore me a new one about ruining a pan that was a wedding gift (and for being a stupid drunk).
What was the craziest thing you did at school?
We were on an exchange trip to Ajax, Ontario and my friends and I wanted to drink. We stole a case of beer from one of our hosts and filled 2 suitcases with beer and ice. We planned on walking to a local school and drink there. We were walking down the street and the suitcases were leaking water from the melting ice. We were stopped by police, asked why we were carrying dripping suitcases and promptly arrested. THAT was a fun phone call home. oy.
When you dream do you dream in colour, black and white or technicolour?
Vivid technicolour. As are the memories of them
What quote or saying do people spout but is complete and utter rubbish?
“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.” I agree to a point. But an opinion needs to be an informed one, based upon due research and a genuine understanding of the subject matter. A tomato may be technically a fruit, but it is my opinion that it would taste like shit in a fruit salad.
What’s the most interesting thing you’ve read or seen this week?
I don’t want to open a can of worms here, but the most interesting, in a disgusting way of being interesting, was New York City lighting the top of a building in celebration of a barbaric new Abortion law. I’ve never taken a political or religious stance on this issue, and I respect a woman’s right to choose, it’s interesting that people who cry about children being separated at our border are celebrating the ability to slaughter a baby up until the day before it is born. Sorry, it’s disgusting. And interesting…how much more barbaric are we able to be?
What’s the most useless talent you have?
I’m not blessed with many talents and I have none to spare, but I am very talented at trivia. I am a wealth of useless knowledge. It does come handy in bars, however.
Would you rather be alone for the rest of your life or always be surrounded by annoying people?
I used to love to be around a lot of people. Then I lost my ability to tolerate annoying people. My definition of annoying for the sake of this conversation is people who are fake, loud, backstabbing or untrustworthy. My life for the last 2 years has been fairly solitary and I found that I am ok with being alone because I finally like me.
Would you rather be locked in a room that is constantly dark for a week or a room that is constantly bright for a week?
I would prefer to be in a dark room for a week. Because I would be so happy when I was reintroduced to glorious sunlight, which I will never underestimate as one of the greatest joys of life.
Would you rather relive the same day for 365 days or lose a year of your life?
Groundhog Day! Great movie. We all have a moment, or era that we wish we could do over. Imagine having one year to completely change, by learning and practice, to do it over like a boss. Especially if it leads to a better outcome.
Would you rather find your true love or a suitcase with five million dollars inside?
5 Million dollars. I am no longer capable of romantic love, I’m damaged goods. Now I’m into charity. The good deeds that I could do with the 5 million would make me a happy man.
Answers please on the underside of the topside of the backside, that’s just plain square!
I don’t understand the question.
The prompt word, “dirty,” for today’s post is brought to you by Jim! Thanks, Jim! To find his “dirty” post, click here. And say hi while you’re there!
There is so much talk about “Toxic Masculinity” these days. Guys my age struggle with this. I was raised with the words “be a man”, coming from my father, society, and my own recollections.
“Being a man” wasn’t a difficult concept to live by. Boys don’t cry was a common mantra. I was encouraged to be strong, to open and hold doors for a woman, to always pick up the check, to not drive off until my date was safely inside. Of course, I was also encouraged to be a lothario.
I witnessed my male counterparts as they cat-called, crotch grabbed, whistled and otherwise made fools out of themselves in front of women. I always knew the line and when it was crossed. I was (and still am) flirty, but not dirty, and I am respectful of women.
In turn, I also have expectations of women to be strong and able to handle themselves. When a man crosses the bridge from flirtatious to inappropriate I expect, and have seen it on many occasions, a woman to put a man in his place. I love those women. There is never an excuse for a man to offer unwanted advances or lay a hand upon a woman.
See, I know that a woman can open her own door. I know that she has her own coat and umbrella on a cold or rainy day. I may not need to follow her home to make sure she is safe. But I still do these things, because that’s how I was raised.
It’s not toxic. It’s part of being a man.
Your prompt for JusJoJan 2019, January 28th is brought to you by Dan! Click here to find his last post and say hi while you’re there! Dan’s word for our prompt today is “testify.” Use it anywhere in your post or make it the theme of your post. Have fun!
serve as evidence or proof of something’s existing or being the case.
It took mere seconds to say “I love you.”
It took me an hour to explain it
It takes a lifetime to prove it
We are no longer together
couldn’t withstand the weather
I did not abandon you
did what I said I would do
and kept promises made
I am aware of our status
I’m currently persona non gratis
although I don’t live near
I will always be here
My friends don’t get it
but I don’t regret it
This is how I testify to the oath I made
on our wedding day
Your prompt for JusJoJan 2019, January 27th is brought to you by Enthralling Journey! Click here to find her last post and say hi while you’re there! Enthralling Journey’s word for our prompt today is “cathartic.” Use it anywhere in your post or make it the theme of your post. Have fun!
Time spent having an amazing conversation with good people is one of the great, free experiences in life.
We spend an awful lot of time talking and an unfortunate amount of time waiting our turn to speak again. This occurs at the expense of actually listening to the other person. When you speak, you regurgitate that which you already know. When you listen, you learn something you didn’t. When you have an amazing conversation everyone leaves different than when they went in. Sometimes we learn something about ourselves.
It’s downright cathartic.
Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “ad/add/AD (Anno Domini).” Use one, use ’em all–bonus points if you fit them all into your post. Have fun!
I was having breakfast this morning and our server was a very lovely young lady who was, how should I say, as pretty walking towards me as she was walking away. As I watched her in mute admiration, I realized that she was young enough to be my daughter.
It logically followed that I would take stock of my situation and I concluded that women like her were not realistic but I should make an effort to meet someone.
I composed in my head the AD, in the yet to be determined outlet.
“recently divorced guy, balding, one testicle, on dialysis with no future prospects of success or moving out of my mother’s house seeks…well SHIT…anyone. Note, in exchange for physical intimacy I will be the most grateful motherfucker EVER.”
I’ve heard honesty is a turn-on.
Your prompt for JusJoJan 2019, January 25th is brought to you by JP! Click here to find her last post (honestly, I’m assuming JP’s a her–sorry, JP, if I’m wrong) and say hi while you’re there! JP’s word for our prompt today is “balance.” Use it anywhere in your post or make it the theme of your post. Have fun!
For years I spent every minute of my life worrying.
I worried about money.
I worried about my health.
I worried about being a good parent.
I worried about the consequences of failure.
The last 2 years have taken so much from me that I have learned a whole new way of life. Life was once analogous to walking a tight rope. One slip and I would lose everything. A fall would be into a pit of alligators and razor blades.
Now, looking from the base of the canyon up, I have such an appreciation for the joys of life that don’t revolve around money and success, that a fall from the tightrope may be a fall into a pit of rubber balls and puppies.
Walking that tightrope, I wouldn’t be so worried should I lose my balance.