Not so super

The longer you are away the harder it is to come back. But here I am. I offer no promise of quality writing or even linear thought. It’s been 11 days since I have posted and I miss it.

11 days ago I had a good day. I haven’t had one since. Hard to imagine, but my good day consisted of my going in for my bi-weekly lab work. I wouldn’t say that I enjoy going there. I spend over an hour in an infusion center surrounded by some very sick people. I like to think, as I await the results of my labs and a determination is made whether I need a shot or a bag of iron or hemoglobin, that I make some of the nurses smile during my brief stay. I know that I had a pretty big smile on because my lovely Lilliputian Lisa was there. I haven’t seen her since the day I composed a post in her honor entitled Smitten.

Apparently, she doesn’t normally work Friday’s but when the infusion center door opened. there she was. 4 foot 10 of pure sexy awesomeness. And I think she was happy to see me also. We exchanged pleasantries as I dutifully followed her to a seat. I reminded myself to behave. Yes, I am newly divorced but she is married and there is a man-code. She took my BP. It was higher than Willie Nelson. I was reminded of the last time she took it. I had joked that if she walked away it would go down. But I behaved and didn’t do it again. She then said “maybe it’s me?” and gave me a coy smile. I told her that I was being good, she needed to as well. She smiled again and walked away. That’s it, I thought to myself, gloves are off. When she came back I pulled a gem out of my quiver of pick-up lines and said: Are you familiar with Confucius?

“Of course”, she replied.

“My favorite quote by him is ‘He who wants hot nurse must first be patient’.” I could almost hear her underwear falling off.

That was the highlight of my day. I couldn’t get an infusion because of my high BP, a very concerning problem, and she escorted me to the door. I joked with her that she should swap her shift again because I would be there in 2 weeks. She didn’t say no so that’s a sign I guess. To what end I don’t know, all I do know is that she was flirting with me, something that NEVER happens to me and I’ll fucking take it.

I’ve been sick since. My BP is out of control, I am on several new meds and nothing is working. I’ve basically been housebound since. I have missed work, only gone out when I had to and even then I had to force myself. I managed to pull off serving an Easter Breakfast for the die-hards who attended the sunrise service and after 2 hours I was exhausted. I used to be able to work 15 hour days in a kitchen and that 2 hours almost killed me. I went home, napped and went down to MA so see the family for Easter. When I got home I was cooked. I haven’t been out since.

The headaches, the pounding in my head like a John Bonham drum solo, the dizziness, the not-so-patiently-waiting for the new meds to start working is taking a terrible toll. I need to sleep just one night. I hope that night is tonight, I really can’t take much more of this. Old Superman can’t save the day until he remembers how to fly again.

thanks for tolerating my rant. Peace


13 thoughts on “Not so super”

  1. maybe you could try this trick with blood pressure: sing. Not out loud, not heavy energetic songs. Although my favourite is Rumble, in your case maybe something a little more on the level, soothing? Play it only in your head, focus on the shape of it, breathe the rhythm, slow the flow … It’s a form of meditation but you get to choose what it is that calms your mind, and hopefully, the body follows suit.
    Flirting is good for the soul.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My sentiments exactly Steve. Take it easy on yourself so you can be upright for Friday. I will be very disappointed if I don’t get to meet you.
    I’ve missed your writing…I haven’t been reading much but I scroll for a few peeps that I like to catch up on – you’re #1.


  3. Geez Billy, I hope they can figure this out so you can get back on your feet. I like it better when you’re full of piss and vinegar instead of sludge and molasses. Was hoping to catch you on Friday but from the sound of it you aren’t going anywhere until you start feeling human again. Hope that’s soon. Sending healthy vibes your way

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Man, feel better quick, Bill. Sorry you’ve had to go through this, but I know you’ll shake the kryptonite and get back on your feet, back in the air. Let that cape stay on the rack until you’re ready. Missed your words!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. If a woman ever flirted with me, married man though I am, I’d “fucking take it” as well. These days, I could definitely use an ego boost and feel like someone is attracted to me. Validation, citizen!

    Liked by 2 people

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