Raining fire

I’ll never forget it as long as I live. The images flooded the news as I woke on the morning of December 22,1988. They said it was a tragedy. Pan Am Flight 103, a 747 named The Clipper of the Seas, fell from 31,000 feet onto the peaceful Scottish Village of Lockerbie. Fire rained down on entire neighborhoods, killing 11 townspeople, a tragic addendum to the 259 that fell to their death. The debris would cover over 850 square miles. When the FBI, as part of an international coalition of law enforcement, determined that a bomb was the cause of the tragedy, it became the largest crime scene in history.

The news had warned us not to jump to conclusions about Terrorism. I immediately believed that it was. After all, I had been paying attention to the aftermath of the 1983 Marine Barracks bombing, responsible for the deaths of 214 US Marines and 48 French soldiers in Lebanon. I had paid attention to the banter between Ronald Reagan and Moammar Gaddafi (sp). I remembered the night “The Gipper” lit up the city of Tripoli, causing the Libyan leader to never sleep in the same bed again for the rest of his miserable, corrupt life. I knew that US Soldiers and citizens were targets, even valuable fodder for Islamists.

I was beyond outraged at the incident. Terrorism enrages me as a concept. I hate, and I stand by that word, anyone who believes that the slaughter of innocents is acceptable in the advancement of a political or religious agenda. To me, such people are lower than the gunk that slugs wipe off their feet. It sickened me. Unfortunately, my following of the case, as often happens when new, equally or more disturbing news stories happen, led me to lose my fervor.

I am so grateful that Netflix has released The Bombing of Flight 103. I was hesitant to watch it for concerns over getting too worked up. As I said, it was a formative event in my life. I pressed on, and despite the resurfacing of dormant emotions, I was deeply impressed by the layers of the story previously unknown to me.
First, the investigation.
Given the technology at the time, joint investigation teams from 21 countries (21 countries lost citizens in the disaster) were able, through good old-fashioned Police Work, to track a single radio bomb to a single luggage container, the airport in which it was loaded (there were layovers), and eventually the men who did it, along with every detail of their plan. Over 11 years, investigators tirelessly put together a case that would provide a semblance of justice for the beleaguered families of the victims, who had been treated poorly all around. The airline responsible was less than accountable and not suitably cooperative, as well as miserly in their proposed financial settlements. Also, there was widespread dissatisfaction with the lack of communication and the slow pace of the investigative agencies. I could go into more detail, but I’d rather you give it a watch.

The bright spot for me about the series, despite the attention to detail and historical accuracy, was the people of Lockerbie. Lockerbie, Scotland, is a very small town, essentially a village. Nothing had ever occurred there on the scale of the Pan Am crash. Yet when the fireball engulfed an entire neighborhood, they quickly moved from shock to action. They immediately gathered together and searched as far and wide as possible, tasked with the gruesome task of finding survivors. It would soon become apparent that there were none. With this grim reality at the forefront, teams of volunteers fanned out to recover remains and collect anything that, per authorities, “wasn’t growing”. The extent to which they collected potential evidence was only outdone by the sensitivity and respect paid to the deceased. One woman is known to have stayed with a body, still strapped in his seat, overnight and most of the next day so that the body would not be alone. Because she wouldn’t have wanted that for one of their own.
In addition, the people of Lockerbie volunteered to bag and tag all evidence so it could be categorized and, hopefully, identified. What was supposed to be a few weeks’ project evolved into over 6 months. The locals remained vigilant. Most of the clues that led to piecing together the attack came from their efforts. In addition to their attention to detail, I was impressed at the care and respect they showed for the victims’ families. They cleaned items such as books. They laundered certain items in some cases. They even added dried bouquets of local flowers that grew in the fields that had come to be littered with victims. To this end, one of the many family members who would come to visit the quiet village of Lockerbie regularly would report that they came to view the crash site as a place of beauty and peace, not a grim reminder of destruction and death.

The deeply respectful, tireless volunteers of Lockerbie are the lesson of this tragedy. Their kindness and selflessness perfectly offset the crime itself, even though it does little to soften the blow. In the face of hatred, biases, and willful devastation at the hands of soulless animals, the people of Lockerbie answered with love, compassion, and unconditional kindness.

While I will never get the image of the Clipper Maid of the Seas’ decapitated cockpit lying helplessly in a field in Scotland, I am at least now somewhat comforted by where it landed.

The storm

the comforting pat on the head

Just when I thought the storm couldn’t get scarier, the Tornado Watch alert blasted from my phone. I have never been a big fan of Thunderstorms, I’m perfectly ok in admitting that I’m terrified of them, but this is my first Florida T-Storm and it is a beast. In NH, they can be severe but they pass quickly. Here, they come on strong and stick around way too long.

Today’s storm is a continuation of a serious system that came through last night. It flashed and boomed for hours. Just when we thought it was over another wave came through. It being my first real Florida storm, I was shocked at its intensity. But as uncomfortable as I was, and am right now, I am not upset or fearful. My dog, however, is not faring so well.

Sammy is not a shy dog and he is adaptable in most situations. He even tolerates gunshots when I am doing target practice in the yard. Thunder brings out absolute terror in him. It is loud to us, I cannot even begin to imagine what it sounds like to him with his advanced hearing. In addition, dogs (not nearly as brilliantly as cats BTW) can detect changes in atmospheric pressure. All of these factors combined equal a prolonged state of terror for the little guy.

I have been comforting him the best I am able. I have to restrain him by his harness but I do so without holding his neck. Between last night and this current wave, I have been petting and reassuring my wonderful little guy for hours. Occasionally he takes a second from the panicked behavior and turns to look at me. I can’t say for sure but he seems to be grateful for it.

Lean on me, buddy. I got you.

I am logging this today because it occurs to me that the time spent, as unpleasant as it may be, providing and comfort to another living, breathing, feeling creature with a soul, is a cherished moment. To give love unconditionally without seeking something in return is time well spent.

I only wish people felt as inclined to help each other in those moments of fear and uncertainty.

political toxicity and the great epiphany

About a week ago I read a FB post of a dear friend. This particular guy is a fellow blogger whom I have a lot of respect for. As I prepared to read his post I braced myself for about 800 words that I would only agree with about 100. And that’s OK, I believe it’s good to expose yourself to material you don’t agree with. It’s called being open-minded and I really, truly strive to be just that

Or so I thought.

As it turns out…my self-proclaimed open-mindedness needs some work.

He brilliantly wrote about the Democratic field, his take on who he thinks is his favorite (s) and why. I bristled and bit my tongue as I read it but I kept reading. I disagreed so vehemently, with him and with the candidates and policies in general, that I reacted. I acted hatefully, intolerant and totally out of character. I surprised and embarrassed myself.

In fairness, my response was along the lines of being surprised at his left-leaning tendencies because I have always, mistakenly, thought that he was a moderate. But in the process of composing my response I attacked the candidates he supports. I even made a very unfair gay comment about Mayor Pete. Well, he called me on it. Not just the gay comment but my attacks on the candidates. I was surprised at the fury of his response because, as I said, my overall intent was to question how far left his beliefs were. Having said that, I got what I deserved and more.

I was told that my gay comment was out of line. He was right.

I was told that I was wrong in my assessment of the candidates he endorsed. We’re both right because this is still America.

He told me that I didn’t understand Democratic Socialism, Socialism or Communism. I didn’t agree at all, if nothing else I never speak of something that I don’t know of. I called him on that.

Then came the one thing that I strongly disagreed with, a topic that I didn’t challenge him on, a topic that is instead the topic of this post…he said that I didn’t understand people.

He couldn’t be more wrong.

Here’s the deal. We live in a toxic political environment, one that has permeated almost every crack and crevice in society and we have devolved from disagreement with civil discourse to digging trenches and taking sides. These sides have divided friends, couples and society in general. Now, if you hold a viewpoint that someone disagrees with it is personal and in some cases you are attacked.

As a conservative I have formulated a defensive attitude about my politics because I and people who share my beliefs are being attacked. Daily. It is an absolute true statement that if you support our president than you are believed to be one step away from shaving your head and donning a white hood. When your beliefs are constantly attacked, it is almost impossible not to be defensive. It feels personal and when we are personally attacked we lash out.

Unless we have the ability to control our initial, knee jerk reaction and take a deep breath. I needed to do that and I didn’t. I regret it.

I can’t change today’s political environment but I can change how I react to it.

My friend, if you’re reading this please accept my apology for my unwanted sentiments and I hope you read and appreciate my rebuttal.

I disagree with but respect your opinions. Above all else I respect any informed opinion and deeply believe that our political process requires, dare I say demands differences and a consequent civil exchange of ideas with tolerance of different viewpoints. I truly and profoundly dislike the entire pool of Democratic candidates because they don’t share my vision for my country. For you, they do and I need to respect that. But is it wrong to ask the same of you?

If I may circle back to the comment you made about my not understanding people…I want to thank you for that because it gave me something to think about. My question, after days of pondering it is as follows; is it possible, despite being on exact opposites of the spectrum politically, that in the end we want the same things?

Democrats and Liberals, there was once a distinction but not anymore (change my mind), have always held a grip on being the champions of the poor, the marginalized and downtrodden. I have always disagreed with that, I believe many people of my ilk, the dreaded “conservative” also care deeply about the same demographic.

I know I do.
I want an end to poverty, hunger, and homelessness.
I wish for a stop to endless wars.
I wish everyone had health care
I want a balanced budget and to eliminate the burgeoning deficit.
I wish for an end to institutional racism.

I understand and care about people more than you will ever know.

There are so many issues that our current administration is not addressing but overall, I supported the candidate that most shares my beliefs. This doesn’t, and shouldn’t, disqualify me as a compassionate person. I volunteer at food banks, I help old ladies with their shopping carts, I donate money I don’t have and I am always on the lookout for an opportunity to commit a Random Act of Kindness. So I am curious why my behavior didn’t reflect that. Fortunately, I had an epiphany and I learned once and for all that I need to do and be better.

My friend, I do care about people and I hope that my future behavior supports that. Thank you for putting me in my place. With the exception of the lectures questioning my education level, I got a lot out of it.

At the end of the day, everything is about people. And my, let’s face it, everyone’s politics should be ultimately about people. Regardless of who you support, no one, including myself has the right to tell you that you are wrong. We’re both right, we’re both wrong but we’re all brothers and sisters.

That is one thing that will always be a wonderful thing about this country that we both call home.