The added variable part 2

*this post is a continuation of a story. It will stand alone in many ways but for missing context please go back a few…*

Cat and I began to talk regularly. We eventually hung out a couple of times. Despite the outward overtures of romantic gestures, I knew that she, not I, were stuck in the friend zone. Nothing had really had changed. Or so I thought. That would soon change. In one of our conversations, she mentioned that I “checked a lot of boxes” on what she wants in a boyfriend. That was a sign. I decided, despite a myriad 0f common-sense objections, that I wanted to give it a shot. I was fairly certain that should I ask her out she would say yes. I didn’t even care that she lived 100 miles away. She was worth the drive. Wouldn’t you know it?She said yes.

What happened after that can only be described as a romantic whirlwind. We became close immediately. While we were new to dating, we had known each other for a while so the lines were blurred. It was chaotic yet felt natural. We were together every weekend, which consisted of outside-of-my-comfort-zone activities such as musicals and trying new restaurants. The evenings consisted of amazing intimacy. Sure, it was sex but that’s too superficial for what I was feeling. I felt an actual connection that I had never felt with anyone before. We both marveled at how comfortable we were around each other. It wasn’t in the same ballpark or even universe of anything I had ever experienced. We were having fun and we were both enjoying it. Everything really was great. That would be my weekends. Monday morning I would head back up to be available for Vinny. It was a shame that he rarely needed me on those Mondays, or any other day for quite a while. Construction was delayed, it was the dead of February and he had nothing for me. Even the money stopped. I knew something was up. So I asked him about it.

He had hired someone else, which was fine because we needed more people before we opened and this woman had much more experience than I did. I was one hundred percent fine with it. I stood back and let them plan. I am a worker bee, I had no interest in more. But the first wrinkle in my relationship with Vinny had emerged. Despite the fact that it was he who had minimized my role, he gave me shit about pulling back. I called him on this logic, and emphasized that I was fine with all of it, he treated it as if I had done something wrong. I was baffled and it was the first time that I realized that he and I might not be simpatico.
My takeaway was that my little voice, which rarely misleads me, had been chirping in my ear and I now knew why. My guard was officially up.

the added variable part 1

*this post is a continuation of a story. It will stand alone in many ways but for missing context please go back a few…*

It is now January and things are going fairly well with Vinny. With the exception of my pushing dangerous boundaries physically (let’s face it I would have done that with or without Vinny’s direction because I’m dumb like that) I was doing something for him about every week and we were getting along well and I was making a few bucks.

One afternoon we went into town to the restaurant supply place and decided to grab dinner after. We went to his favorite place but it was closed so we settled on a local hangout frequented by vacationers and IPA-guzzling Yuppy types (an outdated word I know but you get the idea). It was crowded and we had a wait. We were standing in the lobby when around the corner came Cat. She gave me a giant hug. She was up for the weekend with a friend and saw me come in through the window. I was taken back, this girl and I have a history. I’ve blogged about her before. Let’s just say that we spent a lot of time together two years before and when I attempted to date her she pulled back, played lots of games and I tired of the drama and removed myself from it. I was hurt but largely blamed myself (like usual) for pushing when she wasn’t ready. After we made small talk, she asked me to come see her in the bar before we left. She went back to her table. Vin looked at me and said, “she likes you.” I gave him a little bit of the back story. We were seated and ordered.

Before we left I popped in, paid the tab for her and her friend and moved towards the door. She asked me if I wanted to hang out with her a bit and I reminded her that I was with someone. I kissed her on the cheek and left. Vinny was in the car waiting. When I got to the car Vinny told me that he could clearly see her and when I left he said she looked sad. Again, he said, “she likes you.” I dismissed it. We weren’t a match and I knew it. But yeah, I did like her. We drove home and I thought about her the entire ride home.
We talked that night. Part of me wanted to resisted but the heart wouldn’t let me. I wish I had ignored the call. Now I wanted her again.