It’s good to be home.
5 days in the hospital and no diagnosis why my BP is out of control and I keep experiencing spontaneous nausea and vomiting. They made a small adjustment to one of my meds for the BP but overall every test on my gut came up Negative. Oh well, it’s not the first time I’ve defied medical science.
Believe it or not I got some rest. Yes, you read that correctly, I got rest in a Hospital.
I’ve been really, uncharacteristically lazy for so long. My illness has really beat me down. While I actually have very little to do, I have been having a hard time doing it. I was almost out of Spoons. (If you are not familiar with the Spoon theory here you go) https://wordpress.com/post/goodtobealivetoday.com/5461 . On top of all of it I’ve been beating the ever-lovin’ shit out of myself mentally for being so lazy. It was a constant, vicious circle and I was exhausted.
Hospitals are not known for letting you sleep. Nurses wake you at all hours of the night for blood and vitals and DR’s traipse in all day long. I’ve ended many visits more tired than when I went in. It’s been anything but quiet and restful. This one was different. Because I told no-one that I was hospitalized and visitors were prohibited due to COVID, this visit was very quiet. Consequently, I had a opportunity to do some extensive mental, emotional, character, are-you-the-person-you-think-you–are inventory. Long story short I came home mentally refreshed.
The biggest takeaway is that I need to give myself a break once in a while. I am conflicted by my resolve to act and feel normal and the knowledge that I have increasing physical limitations that simply won’t allow it. I need to listen to my body when it tells me “nope, ain’t happening”. Beating myself up does nothing to help how I feel. I think if I can do that, forgive myself for moments of weakness, I can get back to the old Superman. For now, I need to take it slow.
Baby steps, Superman. Baby steps.
Superman found his phone booth 
Hope you feel even more better mentally and physically Billy!
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Thanks!
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Very wise. Good luck
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Yes, you can and you will.
Glad you’re back home.
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I love being home. I don’t even want to go out 😆.
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lol
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It’s baffling how you got rest in the hospital…but glad you are back home in a better shape both mentally and physically 👍🏻👍🏻
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I think it was more mental than physical.
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I certainly hope you’re feeling better 👍🏻👍🏻
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thank you so much
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Oh yeah, I’m surprised you got rest in the hospital. ICU syndrome is real. But am glad you’re rested too. Hope everything turns out okay!
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I think the key was not telling people I was there. No constant calls. Sometimes you just need to be alone
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The machine that limits the progress through life has rules that brook no argument. We must listen, or it will block us from all it can do for us. Getting older/less able is a known, and isn’t negotiable, so doing what can be done with what we have at that moment is all we have.
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Beautifully stated as always. Reality is a tough one
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Get well soon 🙂 regards from Portugal, PedroL
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Thank you
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Sorry to hear you’ve been unwell and glad you recognised that you need to take care of you 🙂
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I guess that’s where it starts
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