Inconspicuous absence

There will be a funeral for my Aunt tomorrow. A “social distancing” funeral where no more than 10 people at a time are allowed graveside, including clergy. All others are to remain in their cars. It’s a 2 hour drive for me.

I will be inconspicuously absent.

I have an excuse, I have dialysis. As far as the attendees are concerned I made every effort to change my appointment but couldn’t make it happen. Call it my little secret, but I didn’t even try. Why do I care? Most of the people in attendance don’t want to see me. And I couldn’t give less of a shit if I had to.

Riverside Cemetery is in my hometown. An enormous, sprawling landscape of rolling hills and old, massive oak trees providing abundant shade for the eternally resting, Riverside is full of stones with familiar names. The amount of stones with my last name is staggering.

Ellie bought a plot near my grandparents on my father’s side. It’s that section of Riverside cemetery that I don’t want to visit. A place of meditation and introspection for most of my family, to me section C is representative of a house divided. Many of the stones are dedicated to good, honest people with a solid legacy in town. Many others turn my stomach.

Tomorrow, Ellie will be laid to rest next to her abusive brother in law who raped her nieces and beat the nephews. Only when he wasn’t shitfaced and beating her sister. On the other side of her will be the brother that died in prison, a career criminal known in town as a pedophile with three known child rapes and voluntary manslaughter under his belt. I could go on but I won’t.

There is no way that I can tell this story in this blog. I may tell it later. The only thing I can say in order for this to make sense is that many of the people buried in Section C of Riverdale in my lifetime, and many attendees tomorrow, colossally disrespected the most honest man I have ever met. My father.

I thank God every time I visit that he is buried in a different section.

Tomorrow’s attendees may have no problem at all with the shameful past of Section C. I do and always will.

If this story is something that you want to hear more of, drop a note in the comments section.

22 thoughts on “Inconspicuous absence”

      1. It’s pretty much the same thing day after day. A little monotonous, but started group Zoom meetings with friends last night. A virtual cocktail hour. Was a lot of fun and will become a scheduled bi-weekly event. I highly recommend it.

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  5. Bill,
    You’re very brave to write the truth. I have so much respect for you. I’m sorry about your Aunt and very sorry about section C and their disrespect to you and your father. They will have to answer to that someday.

    You continue to stay well and write. You are very talented.
    Tara

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    1. I appreciate your kind words Tara. I don’t know about brave, but I will always write the truth.
      Being one of the few readers who knows my real identity, and my cousin, I would appreciate that in the event that you should see him I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t echo what you’ve read here. He’s one of the good ones but he wouldn’t appreciate my take on this situation

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  7. When family stories have characters like this, they are hard stories to tell. If it helps you, if it’s somehow cathartic, then tell them. If it’s hard of painful, give it a few more years.

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  8. I might be wrong but I think you meant ‘female nieces’ (not nephews) or you could have said ‘raped her nieces and beat her nephews’…
    And….as shitty a subject matter it is, I would be interested in reading more only if you want to “exorcise the demons”. This post brought back some memories that I have – weirdly – and I had intended to comment: foul humans are part of every family…I’m not even sure a family exists that doesn’t have some profound evil personage in there somewhere.

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  9. I fully understand your feelings and reasoning Billy. It would be hypocritical of you to attend feeling as you do and meeting up with family you have no time for. I have a similar problem but so far I haven’t been called upon.
    I’d wanted to stay at the wake for my mother in 2018, but Hubby was in so much pain, we had to leave early. I believe my sister saw it as an excuse, despite us ending up in emergency and Hubby being diagnosed with a DVT which could have killed him. My Mum would have understood.
    My reasons are nothing like yours, but there is nothing for me in my home town, no reason to visit, and no people I want to see there. They have no time for me, and I have none for them. They are family in name only.
    Keep well my friend. I hope Margie is still fighting.

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    1. thank you. Margie is still fighting and to my knowledge improving. As for family history, this post is the tip of the iceberg. There is a huge and painful story to tell. I may start writing it today

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      1. I hope she is, bless her.
        Family history opens up a lot of doors and wounds. Do they read your blog or know this is you?
        As far as I know, only Bro and SIL in NZ read mine as ‘family’ might recall I have one, but they’ve never asked about it.

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      3. That’s a good thing Billy.
        It wouldn’t be too difficult for anyone in my family to put two and two together with my posts of Maggie and photos of my Mum and Dad, but they’re not interested.

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