A vision of loveliness in a t-shirt and panties, in her bare feet she dances across the kitchen to a song only she can hear. At the sink, she fixes her coffee and stares out the window. This is her morning ritual, marveling at the birds as they frantically dart in and around the feeder. The dog brushes up against her and she stoops down to pat him, her affection emanates from her as she talks to him. She knows he doesn’t understand but he hangs on the nuance of her every kind word.
She sees him come in, tosses her hair back from her face, smiles at him and returns her gaze to the window.
He approaches her and wraps his arms around her waist. She leans back, trusting that he won’t let her fall. He buries his face in her neck, savoring the smell of her hair.
“You’re beautiful”, he whispers.
“Stop it, I’m a mess”, she whispers.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
She closes her eyes and savors the moment.
He fixes a coffee and settles in. The newspaper on the table before him fails to catch his interest. His gaze remains on her as she putters about her morning routine. After all the years he is fascinated by her. She walks weightlessly. Her smile illuminates the room. She lights up at the smallest of things.
How does her heart even fit in that tiny body?
“You’re staring at me. Stop it.”
“You’re not even looking, how do you know that?”
“I can feel it, silly.”
He returned his attention to his paper. He pretended to read it but his mind was elsewhere. He knew his face was betraying him. How do I tell her?
As if reading his mind, she leans in and kisses him on the head.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked him in the sweetest of tones.
“Oh, nothing.” Now is not the time, he told himself.
She sat down at the table across from him and sipped her coffee. She looked up and caught his gaze.
“You’re staring again.”
“Sorry.”
She got up and left the room. He returned his focus to the newspaper. Moments later he looked up and saw her in the doorway, a single tear slowly made its way down her face. He realized that she had gone into the den. And that he had failed to close the browser.
“When were you going to tell me that it’s back?”
His stomach sank. When I can wrap my head around another man loving you, he thought.
He doubted he could ever do that, certainly not in the six weeks that he had left.
He motioned for her to come to him. Instead, she cupped her face in her hands, turned and left the room.
The Tao of Bill 