walls closing in

Friends and family. Sometimes, in the bustle of our everyday lives we lose touch with those that sustain us the most. Now, as the world has come to a screeching halt they have become the most important asset. My kids have been amazing. Before the collapse of modern society they, most of them at least, were great at keeping touch. My oldest daughter was always the leader in keeping in touch with me.
My oldest boy was good but like his old man, time gets away from him. And that’s ok. He’s an adult and he has his own life.
My youngest boy is probably the worst, he has the least ability to keep track of time of all and I had to call him to see how he is. Again, it’s alright. He has a job and a girl and he is living his life.
My youngest daughter is just now starting to get busy. But she almost rivaled her sister in checking up on the old man.
I was always grateful for the communication.

Now, the kids are all in constant touch. They all have accrued a solid education on what my immunocompromised ass is or isn’t supposed to do during a pandemic and they have been amazingly supportive and critical at the same time. They applaud my attitude but chastise for going anywhere. They want me to stay in and never go out, but I have to. We need things. So they yell at me. Constantly. And I love them for it.

My friends have been amazing also. I always knew I had an great circle but I never knew how much so. Friends that I spoke to frequently now call or text me constantly. Friends that I have maintained contact with sporadically are reaching out. They all know my situation and they are all concerned. It has really touched my heart and to their credit, I have made sure that they are all safe and healthy. Physically and mentally. Despite this unprecedented event, they all seem to be handling it.

Then there’s my special lady friend. She isn’t doing so well.

In the short time I’ve known her I have recognized and reveled in her free spirit.
Before the pandemic she went into the city for work. She occasionally worked from home but not more than two days a week. Going into the city was her break, her routine. It made her appreciate home. Now, she appreciates getting out of the home more than ever. Some birds are not meant to be caged.
I’m worried about her. What she is experiencing is beyond stir crazy. She’s depressed and on top of it all, she feels like the walls are actually closing in.

The confinement. This is where the pandemic really hits home. Well, you know, besides dying that is.
I’m a fixer.
I want to help.
I want to jump in my car and visit her.
I want to hug her and tell her it’s going to be ok.
I want to take her for a ride.
I just want to keep her company.

But I can’t.

Some things I just can’t fix.

13 thoughts on “walls closing in”

  1. Our inherent nature is to rescue others when they are in desperate need. It’s more empowering to teach them the necessary tools to rescue themselves.
    Suggest ways in which she can break her emotional state with movement, music, humour anything that lifts her mood. When we feel depressed, our body and mind literally changes state so breaking that pattern is essential in order to shift, change or get rid of unwanted feelings.
    Your doing an amazing job just by loving her enough to want to take all of her worries away 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, that’s nice of you. Yes, I’m a rescuer but I also try to teach coping but at the end of the day, immediate gratification and a smile is good for everyone.
      I ended up sending her dinner and she was very happy. If only for a moment

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I know what you mean. We are anxious about our neighbour who was widowed almost a year ago and has just turned 70. She feels like she’s climbing the walls because she thinks she should not go out at all. We have played verbal tennis over the fence, we stood on her drive last week and sang Happy Birthday, we have called her outside in the sunshine to talk through the gate. She ventured out to the Co-Op yesterday, and has decided she must get out of the house for a walk at least twice a week. I text her every day and let her know we are here for her as she has no family close by. They are also in constant touch, so that is good.
    The majority of my family? Nothing, and I’m comfortable with that because I heard nothing from them before all this. I’m in touch with Bro in NZ at least once a week. He’s got to stay in and it’s driving him batty.
    Keep safe Billy. So glad your kids are looking out for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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