Walls

He knew about her
He knew he would meet her someday
Time…he had

Someday came at last
in a room full of people
he was only watching her

She breezed through the room
a glass of wine in her hand
she glanced in his direction
not at him
but it didn’t matter

Something caught her amusement
her laugh was infectious
her smile went on for light years
who’s the lucky guy that gets to daily see
that smile that renders light unnecessary
to illuminate the room?

He would learn soon enough
when she leaned in to the man next to him
and wrapped her arms around his neck
“he’s a lucky man” he mused
and chased the disappointment out of his head

Days later the friend request came in
his heart fluttered a bit
“Don’t read into it” he said to deaf ears
but he was cautiously encouraged

When the message came in
he allowed himself to be encouraged
he had more questions than answers
but he patiently played along
was she just being friendly
or was it something more?

They became a nightly ritual
exchanging playful messages
through the banter and playful chat
it was going somewhere
she wanted to get to know him
he wanted the same
but needed to take it slow
this one was special

They were talking one night
in a rare moment of bravado
he went for it
“would you like to have dinner tomorrow?”
the silence was deafening
had he gone too far too soon?

He tried to pull it back
she went back and forth
he had pushed it
she declared herself an overthinker
one with walls
he again tried to pull it back
then she said yes
he hoped she wouldn’t change her mind

It had been so long
since he had been out with a woman
fortunately he needed to only wait one day

The night arrived
he was early
he was nervous
she chose the place

He opened doors for her
he listened to her
tried not talk too much about himself
she wanted to get to know him better
but it was he hanging on every word
one word in particular came up
a lot

walls

she said it often

walls
high ones
thick ones
someone had hurt her badly
she wasn’t afraid
fear is easy
she was just determined to see
that it never happened again

“Take it slow” he reminded himself
this one is worth it
he focused on her words
her body language
her amazing smile

She started to relax
maybe it was the wine
still, he stayed with the game plan
don’t push
don’t fish
listen to her

They talked like old friends
about what they wanted
and what they didn’t
she had a story to tell
but she wasn’t ready
walls

The walls were still up

They went for a drink
he was learning more about her
he asked a question he shouldn’t have
the dynamic changed
she pulled back
her face changed
he had pushed too hard
he mistakenly reached for her hand
she resisted

“I’m so sorry” he said
he didn’t know
that he was the first to ever ask her that
he vowed to not push her again
Walls

Soon, they were laughing again

The club was jumping
the music was loud
they got a table in the back
she wanted to dance
he was terrified at the prospect
but he would dance with this one

She got up
motioned for him to follow
he was hesitant
she went without him
he sat with fixed gaze

Even from that distance
she was the most beautiful one in the room
dancing alone
he went to her
He struggled with self-consciousness
but it mattered more to him
that he think of her happiness

The song changed and they sat down
on the same side of the booth
he pulled her close
surprisingly…she let him

Maybe it was the wine
he truly hoped it wasn’t
she put her head on his chest
her hands gently explored his body
She looked at him with sleepy eyes
“I want to go on vacation with you…”

It may have been the wine
but the idea of going away
of seeing this rare beauty
glistening under the sun on a exotic beach
took his breath away
still, he was cautious

He enjoyed the intimacy of the moment
as he stroked her hair
this feeling had eluded him for so long
he had forgotten its haunting effects
her head still on his chest
they talked about so many things
things that were beyond the evening
steps yet to be taken
getting ahead of themselves
but it felt right

walls had come down

at least for now

it has been a day since they said goodnight

he keeps reaching for his phone

to text her, to call her

to see if she is thinking of him

as much as he has of her

they had talked earlier

it didn’t satisfy him

he hopes to chat with her later

to obtain the answer

without simply asking…

Are the walls still up?

Even when he knows the answer

they need to come down on their own

but he can wait

she is definitely worth it