The best laid plans

The last 5 days have been quite a ride.

I had a great weekend planned. There was a special dinner at my lodge on Saturday that I wanted to attend. The timing worked well because it was the weekend before our monthly Monday meeting. I had it all worked out. I changed my dialysis time to an earlier slot, I would drive down in time for the dinner at 4:30. I would stay over my best bud Jeff”s house and visit with my kids (at 3 different locations) on Sunday. I then planned on staying another night, have coffee with one guy and visit another until it was time for the meeting and then drive home.

Saturday rolled around and I was ready to go. Tux in one hand, overnight bag in the other I left the house at 8. I ran into my first wrinkle when I arrived at the dialysis center and they wanted to know why I was there so early. I explained that I had scheduled it with Lisa, but Lisa never marked the calendar, They made me wait an hour. I rolled with it, I had allowed extra time in case such an issue arose.

It was a brutal session. I had a bad reaction to a med, I cramped up horrible and the injection site hurt like hell the entire 4 hours. Somehow, I got through it. At 2:30 I was off like a Prom Dress. Straight into a traffic jam. Fortunately, I didn’t need to go home first. I barely made it on time to the dinner.

I was given a warm welcome by my friends and brothers, but the evening was mediocre because I wasn’t feeling well after my rough session of dialysis. I put on a brave face and got through it but by the end of the night I was cooked. Jeff and I had little Scotch and Cigar time that night, I went to bed early. Fortunately, I was up most of the night. Insomnia isn’t limited to your own pillow, it’s transferable.

Sunday morning I got up at the butt crack of Dawn because Jeff has young children (is it still called getting up if you never slept?) and had breakfast with his family. At 9:30 I embarked on my day of visiting the kids. Over the course of the morning and afternoon, I drove a total of 130 miles and saw my youngest 2. I spent some time with my youngest daughter hanging out at the apartment. I then went to a cigar bar with my youngest boy and enjoyed a ten dollar cigar and a good conversation. It was then back to MA to have dinner with the ex and my oldest daughter at the restaurant my oldest boy works. I wasn’t feeling great by the time dinner came but it was good to see everyone, even if my son was working. By the time I was done eating you could again stick a fork in me, because I was done.

That night, I managed to have a Scotch and a Cigar with Jeff, we went over the events of our day and I was in bed by 10.

That night I slept like a log. When I woke my stomach was a bit off. At that point it could have been the Scotch, the need for a good fart or just a bubble. I was wrong on all counts, I quickly realized as I raced to the bathroom to toss up the previous evening’s dinner. I had caught the stomach bug. I would not leave Jeff’s guest room the entire day. I spent the day alternating between sitting on the throne with runaway diarhea while simultaneously barfing into plastic shopping bags and then sleeping. The meeting I had gone to all of the effort to plan for…I never made it.

Tuesday morning I made the 2 hour drive at 75 miles per hour, plastic bag handy and butt cheeks clenched firmer than a Southern Baptist minister. Having successfully made it without an “accident” vehicular or otherwise, I made it to dialysis.

Where I had another miserable session.

It’s so absurd it only makes sense to laugh. The best laid plans, right?

21 thoughts on “The best laid plans”

  1. Oh my God Billy what a week-end! I have to be honest, there were a couple of bits in that tale that made me laugh out loud – the butt crack of dawn and the southern baptist minister – but for the rest of it I was thinking ‘how did the poor guy get through all that?’ As you say, life is a mix of ups and downs and we have to take what it throws at us but kudos to you for managing to see the funny side. Hope you’re feeling OK now. Hugs xx

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  4. It was hard pressing the ‘like’ button, but I wanted to give you credit for powering through all of that. I don’t think there is anything worse than being sick while traveling. I hope you’re feeling better now.

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  5. How can I possibly “like” this one, Bill?! I will, anyway, because your interlaced humor and ever-present honesty are always a good read, even when your circumstances are (I could say shitty, but I’m sure someone’s already made that joke) less than ideal. Sorry your weekend went down like that! Going through it with ya there, though, I thought (long before the bug) “what a f’ing trooper to be going through all he’s going through and STILL put on those miles seeing folk!”

    I would have, honestly, called the whole thing off during the first act. You are, by far, a better man than I!

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    1. I’m not sure it’s a matter of being a better man Tom. It’s really a matter of perspective. I have very few days that I feel like being active and few opportunities to do things so I try to make them count. And I am not easily discouraged so I push through it.
      thanks for reading bro

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  6. Off like prom dress? Never heard that one before. I can’t imagine what that Tuesday ride home felt like. I keep a urinal in the car because the MS doesn’t let me hold it like I used to, but I draw the line at a portable bedpan

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