Today marks a sad day in my marital history.
My wife and I had been arguing something awful and it was getting pretty tough to keep it together. We had already stopped sleeping in the same room, sleeping in the same house was even getting difficult.
One morning when I was in the shower after a particularly awful argument. I was trying to wash it off me but there wasn’t water hot enough. Suddenly my wife crashed through the curtain with a kitchen knife and made a swipe at my John Thomas. I managed to subdue her but she came close. I called the police.
They came, it was a big mess. Everyone calmed down. The police asked if I wanted to press charges. I asked them what charges applied.
“Right now”, the officer said, “We’re only looking at a Misda-weiner.”
Sorry, I had to.