Today I found a miraculous weight loss program that can be accomplished in 2 hours. All you have to do is walk into an arbitrators office at the City Courthouse, answer a bunch of questions, agree to everything and sign on the dotted line. Boom! Divorced. I’m down 135 pounds. At least that’s how much I think she weighs, I haven’t touched her in so long I really don’t know.
That’s what I get for introducing her to a magic food that made her sex drive disappear 22 years ago…Wedding Cake.
https://addicted.live/2018/05/31/weight-loss-complete-guide/
Weight loss guide.👆🏻👆🏻
LikeLike
I had to reread this three times to get it. Well… congratulations?
LikeLike
A couple of caustic jokes to minimize my feelings on a bad topic. But congratulations works… Thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would expect no less; dark humor and a hint of honesty. My good man, this is a new beginning, and a sad ending, as well.
I’ll open a beer in your honor. Right after this one. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
My real feelings came out in my last post
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just finished it.
LikeLike
Christ, you’re funny. If I’d known that wedding cake would have the same effect, I would’ve probably just bought some ice cream or maybe even skipped the dessert.
Yes… marriage certainly does ruin the young feeling part of your life… the part of you that used to have sex… before you become a hollow shell of what you once were and abandoned even mourning the loss of said sex life because you’re just so resigned to this lifestyle…
…sorry. Lost myself in, uh, trying to imagine what it must be like for you. Condolences.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I sincerely hope it’s not that way for you
LikeLiked by 2 people
Not at all! I was just trying to SELL that sentiment so hard. Naw, I love my wife to pieces. I’m a lucky man.
LikeLiked by 1 person
To new beginnings!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
LMAO. You’re evil
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I mentioned this last time we talked…yah relief that it is all over, but at the same time, now it is REAL. hang in there my friend
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know how you feel. I recently wrote an article on grief in which I said until my divorce I felt relief but once the divorce was granted I did go thru some stages of grief. Good luck to you, 22 years is a long time, I lasted 23…
LikeLiked by 3 people
yeah that was kind of a dickish post I’m actually not remotely as good with it as I indicated. This is usually my first reaction…a cheap shot
LikeLiked by 3 people
As with all your writings…straight from the heart!!!
Congrats I so hope.
LikeLiked by 4 people