I have a 4-legged enigma sleeping on my feet right now. He is an adorable 4-year-old English Cocker, brown with big, thoughtful eyes.
He’s not mt dog, he’s my mother’s. I say this tongue in cheek because, while mom and I share a house he is solely and defiantly her dog. It doesn’t matter that I am as responsible for loving and caring for Sammy (Samuel L. Spaniel, guess who came up with that name), despite his current spot on my feet he usually wants very little to do with me.
It bugs me. A little.
I could dedicate a whole post to how stupid it is that I should let a dog affect my self-image at all, but I won’t. It’s not that he doesn’t like me, he is just unhealthily attached and fixated on my mom. He has been since the day she met him at a breeder’s house on a cold Connecticut morning, 4 hours from home. As she described it, “Of the 6 puppies to choose from this one chose me.” And he still, to this day chooses her. And if she’s not around he then chooses nobody. Even if I’m sitting in the same room.
It’s comical in a way. He snubs me like a mean girl in any High School. And I don’t take it personally, I was joking about that. He will play with me, let me throw his ball and make me chase him to get it back. He is happy to take chicken from my outstretched hand and when it’s dinner time he will come to me. But if mom is out he pouts until she comes home. That is both difficult to deal with and hard to watch. It’s difficult, because, in her absence I have to actually pick him up and put him outside, no exaggeration, to pee. Walks can be more like drags.
It’s hard to watch because when Mom is not around he’s actually sad. It is the worst case of separation anxiety I have ever seen, canine or human.
When I think about what bothers me the most, I think it is that I want a dog of my own. I don’t have a place of my own so I can’t. So the next best thing would be to feel that the dog we have is mine as well. The sad reality is, no matter how much attention I give, how many ear scratches and tummy rubs I give, and how many walks I take him on…he is not my dog.
Except when we are in Florida. Mom is here 6 months a year now and this is the first year I have come to visit. I was pleased to see what a nice place it is, how beautiful the weather is, and how friendly the people are. I was not prepared for the dog that sure looks like Sam, but isn’t. I don’t get it. He is friendly to me, relaxed and affectionate, and when mom goes out he is happy to be in my company. He is so different, it’s quite strange.
I guess he is a Florida dog. I’m different when I’m here as well. I’m not going to try to figure it out. I’m just going to run with it. I’m sure once he comes home in May he will return to ignoring me again.
I’ll just file this under the “go figure” category.
The Tao of Bill 
A-ha!! You’ve changed your blog title I see.
Dogs can be ‘odd’, a one person dog, though they tolerate someone else when Numero Uno is absent.
Maggie was definitely ‘our dog’ though she chose me when we went to see the pups after losing Barney so suddenly. She snuggled onto my lap and fell asleep…. twice….. so she chose me and we brought her home.
However, we both fed her and played with her, though it was me who mostly house trained her. When she was feeling insecure or anxious, she’d go to Hubby, whereas if she felt unwell, she’d come to me. Maya is similar, but as she was that much older when we got her at 13 weeks compared to Maggie’s 7 almost 8, there was no way Hubby could carry her in his jacket everywhere for the first few weeks she was with us! Maya has bonded with both of us though it took time. Hubby will play with her using his hand like a spider and she loves that, but I get the green gonk in my lap to be filled with treats as I spend a lot of my time in the kitchen, aka foodie room.
Maybe the reason Sammy is now happy to be with you is because of the surroundings. Dogs can get depressed and sad, and can also feel lonely, so maybe before he was just anxious when your Mom wasn’t around. We were worried about Maya being taken away from her siblings to come and live with us, two old farts. It turned out her siblings had already left to go to their new homes, so she was on her own at night. She slept with us in the bedroom from night one, and had a terrible dream one night, waking her up frightened and yelping. I held her close and we both talked softly to her, calming her down and she eventually settled. She now always sleeps on my side of the bed on her cushion on the floor.
I don’t know a lot about dog behaviour other that what I’ve experienced with my own or witnessed with other peoples. I attended a dog psychology course years ago at college and it helped me a lot. I was told I had a dominance problem and I said I was not a dominant person! She said that’s the problem…………. the dog knows it and walks all over you!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes I did change the name of the Blog. Do you like it? And thanks for that relatable story
LikeLike
It has a good ring to it! Sorry for the long winded story, but glad you could relate to it 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I always enjoy your responses
LikeLike
Thank you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think this happens with a lot of pets that choose you at a shelter, etc. Their instincts win over no matter what! My grandson has a dog like that and as sweet as he is, he and C are connected😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
He’s a lovable, if not odd little guy
LikeLike