I suppose that a good place to start, as I redirect my subject matter to a more positive place, would be to take a hard look at what is different about my life since I started this blog. As you remember, I began this project at a low point, possibly the lowest, in my life when my blog served as therapy. To be exact, I would write something and know that I had put it out there and hope like hell for catharsis of some point. To recap; Illness, bankruptcy, foreclosure, divorce and near homelessness. I was angry at the world, I was intensely hostile and bitter towards my ex-wife and I wasn’t thrilled about living with my mother. Nothing against her, but the whole thing felt like a massive regression with no end in sight.
That was 4 years ago.
Things really have changed for the better. My health just took a massive turn for the better. I am one month out and I already have my staples out, the bladder stent was removed today and today’s checkup was so good that I am now on biweekly doctor visits. Most important is that I feel fucking great. I have color, energy and for the first time in a while I have hope for what the future brings. As opposed to sitting around while sick waiting to see how life could stick it to me yet again. The improvement in my attitude is almost as satisfying as the improvement in my health.
I now have a healthy relationship with my ex-wife. I forgave everything for her and I both. I couldn’t carry the emotional weight of all that anger anymore. We are co-parenting well and we talk often. Divorce has been good to us both. This has been good for the kids as well, for too many years they watched us tear each other’s throats out and I know it was hard for them. To their credit they are all thriving. The only one who is in need of adjustment is me, I still have a hard time knowing that I am not as needed as I once was. But all parents go through that I suppose.
As for my living situation, my mom is the best. She was never the problem I only disliked not having my own place. But she, and the whole town for that matter, have made room for me and I have quite a few friends and more than one business opportunity ahead of me due to my working and volunteering in the community. My detailing business has allowed me to supplement my income, save a few dollars and meet some great people. One of which offered me a full time job today at the convenience/sub shop he just bought. Things are indeed clicking along.
I know now that the key to everything is to keep a good attitude even when things go wrong. Life is about how you react to things it throws at you. I am truly blessed, not just a little lucky and grateful beyond what modern technology can measure. What I thought was the end has turned out to be a new beginning. Let’s see what I can do with it…