Nothing makes you ask yourself “what kind of an old person am I going to be?” more than spending a few days in a Florida Condo Association.
I’m visiting Mom at her winter hiatus, God bless her she has earned it, and I am being bombarded with flashbacks of Del Boca Vista.
Any Seinfeld fans out there?
I so enjoyed the Seinfeld episodes that featured the delightfully and absurd antics of the retired Senior Citizen. If you’re not familiar, they had great fun with early dinners, over tipping, the political shenanigans of Condo Association leadership and the ever-present busy bodies that everyone kisses up to but secretly fear and despise. In short (or can I still call it that), stereotypes of the retired life.
After spending 4 days here, I am not so sure that the stereotypes are entirely unearned.
Before I go on, I want to clearly state that I love the elderly. Anyone who knows me can confirm that. When I was a child, I spent as much time as I could with my Grandparents at the Senior Center. My grandmother loved to show me off and once that wore off, I found myself enamored with the wisdom, sage advice and overall attitude of the seniors. Some were grumpy but most were lovely. I spent most of my time with the Veterans and I had earned a middle-school level education of history by hearing the war stories, edited for my age of course.
This fondness of the elderly carried on through High School as I frequently visited shut in neighbors and volunteered at the local senior center.
In College, my favorite professor was an elderly gent who taught “The Psychology of the Elderly”. I thought the course was eye-opening about the challenges faced by and the particular traits of the elderly. The professor was a charming, youthful old guy and I became very close with him. I truly was saddened by his death.
I have maintained a healthy interest, and perhaps more importantly, a respect for the old. Having many a challenge to my own mortality, I am aware that reaching old age is a privilege denied to many. Therefore, when given a chance to hear a story, I listen. When a different perspective is available, I take the opportunity to learn it. But I have learned one valuable truth; there are several categories of elderly; among them are the forever young and enjoying life type, the “I do my best to keep up and tolerate life and it’s changes” type, the “I don’t want to learn anything new I’m too old” type, the busybody with the nose in everyone’s business, and the “get the hell off my lawn type”.
In one small development in West Palm, in less than one week, I have met them all. It hasn’t been all bad, many people here are a delight. And then some are tolerable. Some are humorous in an unflattering way. One was bad, in fact there were two.
Sunday I was walking the dog. I was on a paved path, well within common areas, and we walked past a first-floor condo with a screened in Lanai with 2 small yippy dogs. At the sight of us, the small dogs barked their tiny balls off at us, prompting the owner to come out and reprimand me for having the nerve to walk by her unit and upset her dogs. The sheer absurdity threw me a bit and I asked if she was serious. She was. I shook my head in disbelief and walked on, ignoring her fading chirping.
The day after I was again walking the dog and I encountered what appeared to be a pleasant elderly woman walking up and down a row of cars. When close enough I offered a “good morning”. What I received in turn was a angry lecture about “outsiders” who “don’t belong” parking illegally in what I can only assume was in the general vicinity of her guest spot? I shut myself off to it and when she attempted to engage me further I said, “I have absolutely no interest in any conversation about whatever this is” and kept walking. I’m pretty sure I heard a pronounced Hmmmph!
That was the worst I have encountered.
Somewhat less uncomfortable but annoying nonetheless is my mother’s friend who likes to boycott events (big stuff like movie night and appetizers by the pool) to send a message that nobody cares about to someone who doesn’t understand the message or the reasoning behind it. To make it worse, she tries to dictate who can be friends with whom, with the threat of excommunication looming over them if they don’t comply. Why?
But to balance things out, last night I had a cocktail with 2 gents hiding from their wives at the pool and we had an amazing conversation. They were charming, pleasant and enjoyable to talk to. I chose to sip my drink and predominately listen. The military history, the jobs they held (one of the gents was the national distribution manager for the first incarnation of the Cabbage Patch Doll (remember what a sensation that was?). The other was a former executive director of Habitat for Humanity. These gentlemen were a delight to be around.
They definitely are the cream of the crop of Del Boca Vista. The other are interesting to say the least. My respect for their generation and obvious longevity remains. But the question arises…What kind of old person am I going to be? That’s a whole other post.
The Tao of Bill 