*this post is a continuation of a story. It will stand alone in many ways but for missing context please go back a few…*
I called Cat that evening and when she asked how my day was, I replied “I’m all done at the restaurant”. It got very quiet on her end. I asked her if she had any thoughts on the matter. I got a very curt “well, that’s too bad.” I didn’t push it. We talked for a little bit and got off the phone. I was going to see her the next day.
The next day I arrived at her house and we immediately went out to get lunch. I loved having lunch with her. We would always find a place with a good view of the water and we had great conversations as a rule. That day would be an exception to the rule. She was very quiet. To offset the quiet I made the mistake of speaking openly and honestly about what I was feeling. I explained to her that I wasn’t happy with how I had conducted myself, that I wasn’t proud, that I wished it had turned out better, that I hadn’t left Vinny hanging, and that I stood behind my conviction that from a mental health perspective I just couldn’t have handled it any other way. You know how your significant other should be supportive (at least to an extent at least) and focus on what’s good for you and maybe each other? Apparently, she didn’t believe that. And she had me immediately questioning why I did. It got ugly fast. She didn’t agree with me at all and began to tell me how she would have handled it differently, went into great detail about what I should have done, and generally got opinionated as fuck on me. I took it, to a degree, acknowledging that she may have a point but then I offered, “you’re a bookkeeper. You’ve never worked in an environment similar to what I was doing, there is no possible way that you can tell me what you would have done. You weren’t there.” Her answer was. “You didn’t handle it right at all.” She may have had a point. After all, I’ve already acknowledged as much, but I didn’t appreciate her attitude. If nothing else, she could’ve respected the fact that I was upset and not consequently not attack me. I tried to salvage the lunch by changing the subject but she was so cold I could have poured water between her tits and made my own ice cubes.
The rest of the day was no better. As she got drunker (another massive red flag) she somehow found a way to be more critical. As we sat in our favorite dive bar she actually said that my problem was that nobody kissed your ass and begged you to stay. Nothing could have been farther from the truth, you will know this if you have been reading my posts. I was pissed. We got through the night but she went to bed pissed and I slept on the sofa. The next morning was no better so I left after Church. I was beginning to think that our relationship had run its course.
I stayed in NH all week. We texted a bit but there were no phone calls and when it came time to get together again I simply texted her and asked her if she wanted company that weekend. She said yes, so I went to her house. She was better but the tension was still there. I deliberately didn’t bring up anything about the job. I had other problems to deal with. My ex-wife was fighting with my youngest daughter and it was weighing on me. My ex was giving my youngest daughter, who is gay ( for context only) a hard time about her relationship with her girlfriend. She was questioning the relationship, downing her lifestyle, being a fucking wonderful mother all around ( sarcasm duly stated) and really upsetting my daughter. My daughter had been dealing with anorexia and depression and I was outraged that my ex was doing this and causing the friction that she was. I told Cat about it. Surprise, surprise she had an opinion, one that I didn’t necessarily ask for, about that as well.
Let’s just say that my weekend ended early.