let’s get small

The tiniest of organisms have the same role in the universe as the largest ones. Just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. The Blue whale feeds on Krill, the largest creature sustained by one of the smallest. Pollen, carried by the small but mighty bee sustains all life here on dry land. Small matters. Except when you are a person, then it’s all about big. Big dreams, big houses, big cars, big bank accounts. The bigger the better, give me more more more and when done with that I’ll take just a little more. Not all people, of course but you get the point. Given the means I may be the same way. But my profound and distinct lack of means has had a very profound and welcome effect on who I have become at this stage in my life…I have embraced my smallness.

At some point in life we have to check our ego at the door. For some, it may never happen but for a lot of us things, money, or both stop making us happy and we want more. By more in this case I mean more substance, more meaning, more gratification, more connection. Unfortunately, this can only be obtained by downsizing. If not your life then at least your attitude.I am on a journey in that direction, a quest for smallness, but I had an easier path than most. I didn’t walk away from the pursuit of more influence, stature, and wealth. Illness took it all away for me. For quite a while I didn’t know what it meant, I questioned why it happened to me and felt that my life as I knew it was over. What I would find is that when one life ended, so to speak, another one began.

My old life, littered with insecurity and doubt was made no better by the pursuit of big things, in my new life I have found it to be all about the simple and the real. It happened when I stopped trying to control everything. It can’t be done.

No man, regardless of stature is a match for the awesome power and force of the tide. No man will ever make his life better by shaking his fist and screaming at the heavens. Regardless of wealth, stature and achievement no man will live forever. Billions have lived and died before we were ever born and their physical legacy will never be larger than the plot of ground they are buried in. While our time on earth may seem long, it is but a speck. We are all miniscule players in a vast tapestry that we know not a damn thing about. But if you embrace your smallness you will begin to see the big picture.

I like being a small cog. I like being part of the crowd, not standing on my toes to rise above the others. I like the challenge of being a bit player trying to create meaningful change. I enjoy doing small things that make a big impression on another. I’m ok with being ordinary in stature. Don’t know what I mean? Throw a pebble into a pond and see how far and long the ripple carries.

This is where faith begins and control ends. I have placed, finally, my legacy in the hands of a force I know little about but trust inherently. God, mother nature, fate…I can’t tell you for sure. But I believe in the darkest recesses of my soul that by downsizing my attitude I will achieve a greatness in the arena of humanity that I never would have if not for the epiphany I have been so fortunate to have experienced.

I no longer care if I have the answers. They will be revealed in time. I have faith. I have never been happier since I have learned to respect the mighty tide as a humbling yet beautiful reminder of exactly where I stand.

Let’s get small…


21 thoughts on “let’s get small”

  1. I love this Billy. I feel a difference in your writing and it’s the small things that give us the greatest of opportunities.

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  2. Humility. Man, when I think of all the things I’ve learned in life that made me a better person than I was before, humility is the biggest (smallest, best). I joke about my own narcissism, and talk about the narcissism of you-know-who and how we have that ONE thing in common, but it isn’t true. I love me, because I believe that is where all love begins, but I know I am small. I am weak as I am strong. It’s an important lesson, and one you teach me every time you write. I am not half as giving as you of myself to others, and in that vein (Superman), you are my hero. ❤️

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    1. If you knew how much influence you have had on my thinking, my tolerance and my overall desire to just be nice you would know that you’re mine. I was pretty closed off until you challenged me and I like the feeling

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  4. Good post Billy.
    We downsized big time from the cottage. We were brutal and from a three bed, 2 reception plus conservatory property got our home down to the contents of a 20 foot shipping container, and that included my car. House prices got away from us, and we ended up buying a narrow boat. 99% of our ‘home’ reserves had to go. When we brought back what was left, we still had insufficient room, and 99% of that also went, leaving us with our clothes, two cars, pots, pans and crockery plus a few personal treasures. We learned a lot in those three years, about what was important, what mattered, and what we truly needed. We looked at things differently, asked ourselves a different set of questions as we had a different set of values. I wouldn’t change it. We are used to being ‘small’, no delusions of grandeur or want of big ideas, we have enough, we have each other and more importantly, we know our limitations.

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      1. You’re welcome Billy. We miss the boat sometimes and if we’d still been on it, would have puttered up river out of everyone’s way. Problem would have been getting supplies!! Our little bungalow is cheap to run and suits us, though I must admit, it would be nice to have a bigger kitchen. The one on the boat was a galley and we managed better in that than we do in a square! It’s home though, and home is where the love is.

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  7. My “cloak of invisibility” is your ‘small’…the same idea. We’ve learned to get over ourselves and just enjoy. I don’t have any expectations to live up to including my own…just enjoy each day, do the best that I can, find something to be grateful for, to enjoy to help me feel that this day mattered. Good post.

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