The Wedding

Saturday I went to the wedding of the woman who destroyed my marriage.

How’s that for an opening line?

I would like to say that I am overstating it. Maybe I am, but not by much. Lisa, the bride, is the best friend that my wife essentially abandoned me for, adopted as her support system and downgraded my role in her life to inferior paycheck and roommate.

It’s a hell of a story and surprisingly, I haven’t touched on it much in my blog. That is because it is a very complex scenario. First, it needs to be stated that it is not Lisa’s fault, she didn’t ask my wife to choose her for all of her emotional needs. I admire her as a person. It further complicates things that her new husband is an old, dear friend that I love like a brother. He has stood beside me all these years, equally perplexed at the bizarre relationship that developed between my wife and his and he has been very supportive of me.

When this longtime couple with 4 children and 3 grandchildren decided to get married for the noblest of reasons, to adopt a special needs baby that has been in their care, I couldn’t help but be happy for them. I tasked myself with sucking up my bitterness, reconciling the bizarre relationship I have with this couple and enjoy the day. I’m glad I approached it as such, because so many beautiful things occurred and some wonderful memories were formed.

The wedding was beautiful. Their grown son was the best man. Their oldest daughter became Certified Ordained in order to perform the service. All of the children and cousins had a role and it was very touching.

My children all had their significant others with them and they did not disappoint. My handsome boys had their beautiful girlfriends on their arm, my gorgeous daughters escorted by handsome and well dressed men. I was in awe of how my boys turned out to be such gentleman, seeking commitment over the player life. My daughters in turn are faithful, loving companions that respect themselves and demand nothing less from their men. It was a magical moment as a father watching my fine young adults laughing, dancing and canoodling with their dates.

At the beginning of the reception my youngest daughter asked me if I would dance with her should there be a Father/daughter dance. I hate dancing, and pictures, and anything that draws attention to me, but I promised her I would. As luck would have it, I was in the men’s room when it happened. My daughter was a bit peeved with me that I missed it, she told me that she wanted to get a preview of what it would be like to dance with me on her wedding day. As she walked away to join her boyfriend I was struck by a powerful realization.

Like it or not…I might not be around for her wedding.

It was at that moment that I decided that the time to be a non-smiling in pictures, hiding in the back of the room, non-dancing introvert was over. I asked myself how many moments like this did I, or anyone, actually have?

The first slow dance, I grabbed my daughter from her boyfriend’s arms and I danced with her. She teared up but smiled through it. She was so amazed and happy. I then requested a country song that the groom and his brother (another amazing friend) loved and dragged them both onto the center of the dance floor and we belted it out together to the joy of the room and the amazement of my family. When that song ended and the applause died down, a Motown classic started up and my kids surrounded me and I, for the first time ever, danced like no one was watching.

After, enjoying a cigar with my boys and friends, I was asked how many beers I had drank. I told them two, that alcohol was not a factor. I had just decided that it was time to show them all a side they had never seen before.

It was unanimous that everyone, including me, really enjoyed that side of me. The amazed looks from my wife pleased me as well.

It was a good day, with the exception of one comment that my wife made that had the potential to ruin my day…and almost did until I chased it off. It is still bothering me even as I write this but it is a topic for another blog entirely.

35 thoughts on “The Wedding”

  2. Pingback: Maybe it was me – Superman can't find a phone booth

  3. This was an incredible story and it takes a strong person! I am beyond impressed and so glad that you have such a kind heart! This sounds like it was a pretty good experience and I am glad you were able to enjoy yourself!

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  4. EVERYONE should live that way…..whether they are currently battling an illness (physical or emotional). No matter what ones beliefs are, not a single one of us know the day our official journey across this lifetime will end. I, myself, slowly learning it’s the best way to live💕💕

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  5. Beautiful post, B!! I’m so glad that you enjoyed the wedding, and it sounds like you had an emotionally charged “high” day, which are really wonderful, despite some awkward dynamics!! You never cease to amaze me! I’d like to think that a tiny sliver of your decision to “dance like no one is watching” piece of steel that you found in your (emotional) spine spine from reading my IDGAF about what anyone thinks. It’s perfectly fine, liberating and just plain AWESOME to live like you are dying!! No matter the reason I’m glad that you found that steel, but OF COURSE you would, you’re the man of steel, Superman😉

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  8. You have done an amazing job with your kids, my friend. You are an incredible, decent, kind and loving man. I am just proud to know of you. Never let any ‘comment’ spoil this glorious memory as you will forever be remembered on this day by your children, friends, and acquaintances as the FUN guy who lived life to it’s fullest. Bravo Billy! Bravo!!!

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  10. I got tears in my eyes reading about you dancing with your daughter. ♥ What a great gift you gave to your friends and family. These memories will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

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  15. Sounds like it was a wonderfully uplifting day. I’m glad you were able to soak it all in. I was going to ask you about the ex until I saw the last paragraph. Guess it goes to show that a zebra never changes it stripes. Would love to be a fly on the wall when the bride and groom are together in the privacy of their home and talk about you

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