Today’s JusJotJan topic is a good one.
The prompt for JusJoJan 2019, January 3rd, is your blog. Why did you start blogging? How did you come up with your theme, if you have one? How has it changed your life? Tell us about your blog in your jot!
My blog definitely has a story behind it.
The name Superman can’t find a phone booth has a history. Through various phases of my life, I have been dubbed the moniker “Superman” in good and bad contexts alike. I have always tried to save the day. I was always able to stay up late, get up early and get through the day. But the most recent incarnation was when my wife, frustrated at my failure to stay at home, feel sick and dwell on my illness, chastised me for my stubbornness and said “Ok Superman! Do what you want, you’re bulletproof I guess!”
It wasn’t her fault, I was being stubborn. To me, not acting sick is the key to feeling healthy.
What she didn’t understand was that my insistence on dealing with my illness, failing career and mounting debt was to be strong, or at least act it for the sake of my worried children. But as I got sicker, I found that I was running out of outlets to find solace. In short, as dated as the metaphor may be, I was running out of Phone Booths to change into my Man of Steel costume. And CKD was my Kryptonite.
In August of 2017, the final step in the collapse of my life as I knew it occurred. I moved in with my mother, who lived over 100 miles from my entire world. I had lost my job, my Kidney disease had progressed to the point where I could no longer work, my family split up and we were forced to give up our house, I was forced to apply for Disability and ask my mother to support me until I could pay her back. While my life had been hanging on by a thread in every way for a long time, it had officially spiraled down the drain. A 2013 Honda Civic loaded with all of the belongings I could carry was all that I had left.
The marriage wasn’t a surprise. We hadn’t been happy in years. We had stayed together for the kids. I loved, more than anything seeing them everyday and there was no Shitburger for me to eat that was too big to take that away from me. Until Chronic Kidney Disease that is. Divorce soon followed.
I took the opportunity once I was settled into my new surroundings to take a hard look at my life. Where I was, who I was and where do I go next raced through my head day and night. One night, while enjoying a moonlit NH night, it occurred to me that it may help to write it down for a bunch of strangers to read.
But what to call it? It then dawned on me. Superman can’t find a phone booth. Talk about a theme to draw from.
I set out to be honest, brutally at times, with myself and I put my words to keyboard accordingly. I wrote about everything that came to mind. I didn’t draw much attention at first but those that did read me related to my story. Some even felt inspired by it. That meant the world to me. It still does.
I can’t tell you how it will end up, my story hasn’t been fully told yet.