Yesterday didn’t start well. As soon as I put one foot on the floor I knew that it was going to be a feel-like -shit day. I call it such because there is no name or medical explanation for it. It’s a wonderful feeling that I can only describe as I slept but I’m more tired than when I went to bed; I feel like I’m coming down with the flu but I’m not; my legs feel like they have sandbags tied to them and I walk like I’m 80 years old; I can’t wait for my first nap today. Feel-like-shit is much shorter and still covers it nicely.
Regardless, I had to get out of bed. I had somewhere to go.
On Sunday, when I made my rare church appearance to see if the plaster ceiling would crack when I walked in, I was greeted by Dean. Dean is a townie, like most, that retired up here and now lives here full time. He was a good friend of my father’s and has been a good friend to me since the day I moved up here. He has helped me find odd jobs to make a few bucks and on this day he had a job for me. He needed a coat of wax put on his 5th wheel trailer. Not one to turn down a buck, I told him I would do it Wednesday.
Wednesday was here, and as I hung my head, fighting my morning nausea I could think of 276,000 things I would rather do than wax a trailer. But I promised. I was out of the house by 9:30.
I pulled into Dean’s driveway and surveyed the day’s work. He wasn’t there, he was already out volunteering at the community center. There was a ladder on the ground and I could see that the trailer was freshly washed. I knew what I had to do and got right to it.
A 5th wheel trailer is a camper that is designed to be towed from the actual bed of a pickup truck. The nose of the trailer essentially takes over the entire bed. They are very long and can be as tall as 13 feet 6 inches, which is close to the bridge clearance of a tractor-trailer. This one was maximum height and 35 feet long. I had my work cut out for me.
Did I mention that I hate ladders? Well, to be clear I really hate falling. This job required me to climb a ladder, on soft unstable soil, and to reach the very top of the trailer with a small applicator pad in my right hand, an open can of TurtleWax balancing precariously on the top step of the ladder and a rag in the left. To ease my fear of falling I repeated “wax on, wax off” as I reached high, left and right applying and buffing. It was mindless but difficult work.
The nose of the trailer was the most difficult to reach but it came out awesome. It took quite a while because it was covered in dead, dried bugs. Between buffing and my fingernails I got it spotless. The left side also took a while because the ground was so unstable the ladder proved to be a real challenge. The rear and other side proved to be easier. All in all, I spent 3 1/2 hours with no breaks doing an old school wax job. No gimmicks, no power tools, no shortcuts. It looked amazing but I was done, with the job and physically.
Dean still hadn’t returned but I wasn’t worried about payment, I knew we could connect at some point so I packed up my stuff and got in my truck. As I was driving through the center of town we crossed paths and he asked me to come back to the house so that he could pay me. I really wanted to go home but money is money. I followed him back to his house.
He was very pleased with the work. He couldn’t believe my attention to detail. No surprises there, I am a stickler for detail and I do good work. He asked how much I wanted. I really didn’t know, I told him whatever he thought was fair. He offered me $150.00.
I said No.
Too much.
Amazed, he asked if $100.00 would work. I gladly accepted. (who does that?)
He told me he had never seen anyone counter lower before. What he didn’t understand is that I was grateful for the opportunity for something to do that pays. And I will never take advantage of the good nature of the elderly in town. Besides, if I was reasonable, it increased my chances of being referred for more work. As it would turn out, I left with offers to paint his porch and detail both of his cars. I took his check and went home.
As I pulled into my driveway I realized that I was tired beyond the usual levels. My blood pressure was pounding in my ears, I had a headache and I could have napped standing up. I went inside and sat down. An hour later, I was still in that chair. I would spend the day so tired that I could barely walk. If that wasn’t enough, the cramps set in. My hands formed painful, locked claws that were so painful I was nearly in tears. I would feel like that until I went to bed at 9:30. I had finished the trailer at 1:30.
Something has got to give here. I am having fewer and fewer good days in which I can be productive. On the days that I am able to be productive, I need 2 days to recover from it. Today, I am so tired I can barely do anything and typing this blog is killing me because my hands are still crippled claws.
I sure hope this is a phase. Because it’s no way to live.
I have stage 4 kidney disease. It’s a little beyond a vitamin at this point
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🙂 Life is about being balanced. If you work too hard in a very short space of time, you will run down your immune system.
Next time consider taking a vitamin and a mineral supplement.
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So sorry that you’re having such a shit time of it Billy. You have such a big heart, despite everything you’re going though and I really hope that life sends something good your way soon. In the meantime there are some virtual hugs on the way xx
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For what it’s worth Billy, I’m keeping you in my prayers.
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This was a tough one to “like” cuz I feel so bad for what you have to endure. You are, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the finest humans I have known. Consistently, you show that. So, in the end, I “liked” this for your style and character, but not for the trial you endure.
On a lighter note, have you checked under the mattress for kryptonite? Luthor can be a sly devil, you know …
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we all have our battles Tom. This one is mine and I believe that someday I will win or I will die trying.
It takes very little to be a good person so I am humbled by your praise. I’m just putting good karma out into the world.
And I will check my mattress first thing, I never thought to check there!
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You are being you, and that is a beautiful thing. No matter the bleakness you always have this bright spot that comes through without a thought…countering with a lower price…
Only you, Bright Billy!!!
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Thanks brother. Just following the great lead of my late father
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Following quite successfully I might add!
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You are a good man, Billy. Not many would have done what you did that day. You are a fighter – that is crystal clear. Hope you have a reprieve from feeling like shit today and enjoy a good one.
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Thank you. I try not to be greedy. I’m broke but not at the expense of my principles. And so far today I only feel kinda shitty so I’ll take it 😉
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I am sure it a phase, but the question is what will be the duration. I really wish there was something you could take to keep the swelling down, and two the edge off your pain
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It’s not a phase Steve. I’m deteriorating. Hopefully, Dialysis provides some relief, this is getting discouraging. I’m not a complainer, you know that
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I know….I was just hoping that it was something else. So what is the process? You get on another list and wait? Are you at least eating okay?
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I’m having a fistula done the 17th. I’ll have my function checked after. Once I’m on dialysis I’ll be evaluated for the possibility of another transplant.
As for food, I don’t eat much anymore, I love food but I have no appetite. The good news is I have lost weight and my feet get wet in the shower
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It sucks that you have to go through the dialysis thing again. That’s no way to live, but neither is this. You are really between a rock and a hard place, aren’t you?
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This is the worst I’ve consistently felt yet. But the good news is that if dialysis really does make one feel better than at least I’m close to that. I’ll get through it Steve, I always do
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Of course it is a phase,guaranteed my dear and don’t worry shit like days happen to everybody,me first just now how know how they are called😉chin up 😎
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It IS a phase. You’ll be ok. I know it. Chin up.
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